This is a biggy for me and you’ve no doubt heard me mention it a lot! In fact, my latest workshops are called “Be You” as I believe it is so important to be ourselves, yet so many of us are not.
Interesting isn’t it, when a baby is born, they have no doubt whatsoever that they are adorable, loveable and perfect just the way they are. For many of us that feeling stays with us for quite a few years. Scarlett, my lovely granddaughter, who is four now, still loves me to watch as she dances, plays, sings and does a whole variety of things that she KNOWS are absolutely awesome, wonderful and good enough.
I love that so much about young children: they are so happy in their skin – being exactly who they are – without ever wondering, questioning if they are good enough or even lovable.
Sadly, as we grow and we take on outside influences, this inherent self-worth starts to diminish as we start to compare ourselves, fear judgement from others and fear rejection.
As social beings, rejection is our biggest fear. To be rejected by our peers, by the society we live in, and therefore isolated, is the worst punishment for us. This is why all through history, we have punished people by solitary confinement and banishment.
I believe that as we grow, we take on so many of society’s expectations that we start to think of them as our own, without sometimes questioning what it is we actually believe, what do we value, what is important to us?
We start to define ourselves by our roles, mother, daughter, wife, partner, sister, pilates teacher, coach, therapist, and so on, but WE should define what to us is a good mother, a good daughter, a good teacher rather than let it be dictated to us. When we then compare ourselves (as we all do), we feel inadequate as most of us don’t live up to the expectations of what the perfect mother, perfect daughter etc should be.
Comparison is the killer of self-worth.
Yet, especially in today’s society, how hard is it not to compare? We are bombarded with how our lives should look, how we should look, how we should act, what success looks like, what failure looks like, and on social media where all is presented as wonderful, happy, fulfilling, joyful and successful – how hard is it not to compare?!
It’s easy to see how lots of us feel we are simply not good enough.
If we think we are not good enough, we spend all our time trying to be the person who we think society, our partners, our parents, our children, our friends, our clients, our colleagues wants us to be…….
We get lost, we lose ourselves, we lose our passions, our purpose, our values, our desires – it all gets buried in expectations.
So, I called my latest workshops “Be You” for a reason, the reason is simple, you are wonderful, brilliant, lovable and perfect just the way you are,
So, isn’t it time you showed up as you,
in YOUR way,
running your life by YOUR values,
doing the things that YOU desire,
living in a meaningful way to YOU,
being the parent YOU want to be,
being the partner YOU think is right,
being the person that YOU are,
not more than that,
but ALL that YOU are,
YOUR imperfections,
YOUR quirkiness,
YOUR uniqueness,
and showing everyone,
the TRUE beauty of YOU.