Yep, it’s that time of year again……New Year’s Resolutions! Now, those of you that know me, know that I am not a big fan of NY resolutions – why? Well, they just don’t work!
92% of us who set a NY Resolution will have failed by the end of January……. Not only will we have failed with whatever our goal was, but we have also reinforced in our brains that we can’t do whatever it was anyway……self-fulfilling prophecy.
The trouble with setting Goals is that we tend to set something that our unconscious mind doesn’t really believe we can achieve – this means that we are destined to fail: when we fail, it just reinforces in our unconscious mind the ‘belief’ that is holding us back from achieving these goals – NOT what we want if we genuinely do want to make changes.
So my advice to you if you want to make changes is don’t set a NY resolution, an impossible goal, you are simply setting yourself up for failure and, apart from the self-fulfilling prophecy, think what that does to your self-esteem? How can we go around feeling good enough, when we spend all that time berating ourselves for not achieving our impossible goals?
Why don’t we just try and be a bit nicer to ourselves in 2018, why don’t we treat ourselves more like we treat our best friends and stop making our lives so hard?
So, on that note you might think that I drift happily through life goalless, directionless and possibly aimless??
Not so – I do set INTENTIONS. I have intentions set for 2018, I actually I have the next 6 years of Intentions set! I know my long-term desires – what and roughly when I want to achieve these. Now, the thing I love about Intentions is that they are not rigid, they are not ‘I want to lose a stone by the end of February’ – that’s a goal. For me an Intention is….’for 2018 I am going to look after myself more, I’m going to eat better, cut out sugar, drink more water and get outside and walk more’.
The BIG difference is that for me a goal FEELS hard, it feels impossible to achieve, it relies on me being hard with myself, it is usually something I don’t want to do so I have to use willpower, and we all know that using willpower alone results in failure. But Intentions, now, these FEEL great, I would love to feel healthier, I love walking, It feels much easier to cut out one thing like sugar from my diet, I don’t feel like I’m punishing myself and it feels much easier to add one small thing, like increasing my water – it FEELS manageable. And the added bonus is that it’s not rigid, I can adapt it, so I might start off cutting out sugar, find that easy and decide I will cut out gluten as well or possibly alcohol. I might love the walking so much that I join a walking group, or try running or cycling, or encourage a few friends to walk with me. My Intention remains the same, but how I achieve it can change.
Intention setting is achievable, fun – it’s something I WANT to do and it’s adaptable, so I don’t feel like a failure if I change things around to work better for ME.
I’ve set my Intentions for 2018 and beyond and it FEELS great! I’m excited, I’m calm, I’m looking forward to next year, I’m doing things differently, I’m exploring and expanding as that’s what makes me FEEL good.
I ditched the goal setting many years ago and embraced Intentions, why don’t you give it a try and see what changes for you?
If you are wanting to make changes in your life, then you have to do something different – it’s as simple as that (you know I like to keep things simple!). Just try something that is new for you, what have you got to lose……..but you just might have an awful lot to gain.
I’m putting on a lot of new and different things at Balance, give them a try, who knows where they might take you – go on I dare you!