I LOVE to read and I read all the time. I mainly read books/articles that expand my knowledge, make me think, allow me to question and to explore new ideas and concepts – it’s part of how I nurture my Mind and my Soul.
So, I wanted to share a simple but enlightening concept with you.
Let yourself and others EXPRESS their natural emotions.
There are 5 natural emotions that we as human beings have:
Grief
Anger
Envy
Fear
Love
These natural emotions are just that, natural. We all will have them at various times in our lives and we should/ought to be able to express them when they arise. We should never try to suppress them as this leads us down a very destructive path.
Let’s look at GRIEF, grief is the emotion that allows us to say goodbye when we don’t want to say goodbye. To be able to express our Grief allows us basically to get rid of it. If we are not allowed (or don’t allow ourselves) to express grief, if we repress instead, then it soon turns into depression.
Imagine if as parents we never allow our children to cry when they are sad, telling them to stop, be brave, man up etc: imagine as they grow and repress their natural emotion of Grief how easily that can turn into depression. Depression is not a natural emotion.
ANGER, this is our way of simply saying “no thank you”. It doesn’t have to be abusive or harm anyone – imagine when you see something that you consider to be awful… people starving, people homeless, bullying etc., what do we feel? Anger. We don’t agree with what’s happening, we are saying “no” to it, but that doesn’t mean we are going to run around hurting others and being violent. So what about the child who is never allowed to express Anger when they see something they don’t agree with, when they want to say “no’? If we constantly make them suppress it, teach them that Anger is wrong, they will have difficulty with Anger as they grow, because repressed Anger becomes Rage. Rage is not a natural emotion.
ENVY, this emotion make us want to try harder, to keep trying until we succeed, we see something someone else has and we want it. Envy makes us want to keep trying until we achieve what it was we saw and wanted. When my son Joe was 8, he desperately wanted to get into the “accelerated Maths group” at primary school – a couple of his friends were in it and he was envious. What did he do? He worked so hard until he achieved it , that’s what envy makes us do. Envy is a natural emotion. If we suppress Envy, if we teach children to suppress Envy, then it turns into Jealousy. Jealousy is not a natural emotion.
FEAR, we often see Fear as negative, we must overcome our fear, fear holds us back etc. but Fear is our natural caution, it is there to help protect us. Again, imagine if we teach our children that they should never be afraid, that they must never express fear? Think of a child fearful of the dark, needing a night light – if we don’t allow that child to express that fear, then Fear repressed turns into panic. Panic is not a natural emotion.
LOVE, now this is a biggy – Love should be allowed to be expressed and received unconditionally, that means without any limitations, without any conditions, without manipulation, without embarrassment, without any rules and regulations – how many of us really do this? Yet Children (or Adults for that matter) who are made to feel loved only if they behave in a certain way, look a certain way, or are made to feel embarrassed about what or who they love will have a hard time dealing with Love, as repressed Love leads to Possessiveness. Possessiveness in not a natural emotion.
Makes you think, doesn’t it?
Embrace your emotions, express what you truly feel and let’s allow our Children to do the same 🙂