Do you Struggle or do you Suffer?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently: partly as I have been reflecting on my time at Everest Base Camp (as I described last week), but also partly to do with a number of events I’ve run recently and listening to what people have been saying.Last week’s newsletter was about my struggle; my struggle to reach the top of a mountain close to Everest, to see the wonderful views and not being able to achieve it. I talked about how I had to seek the help of my local guide as he was the expert on altitude sickness, not me, and how using the knowledge of others is so important in moving you forwards. For me, in this instance, it meant being able to achieve my ultimate goal which was to trek to Everest Base Camp.

I struggled as my body was unable to cope with the sickness and it was sending me very clear signals that I needed to stop – now!  I struggled mentally with the fact that I felt I would be missing the opportunity to see the awesome views we had been promised, I struggled with the fact that the majority of my trekking colleagues were able to make it, I struggled as every ounce of me wanted to push on, however, I KNEW it was the right time to turn back before my struggles turned to suffering.

When you struggle with something in life it leads you towards growth, towards expansion, towards learning and knowledge, so really although at the time it might not feel like it, struggle is positive, as the changes that come about from struggle benefit us.

On the other hand, if we allow struggle to turn into suffering, then there really is no win. Suffering leads us towards despair, fear, pain – emotional and/or physical.  Suffering is damaging, it affects our self worth/self esteem and leads us down a very dark path.

Now, in my Everest example, if I had carried on and pushed ever higher up that mountain, sooner or later, the altitude sickness would have stopped me in my tracks.  The joy of being in the most amazing place would have disappeared and I could easily have put my fellow trekkers in danger as I would have required assistance to get down.  Most likely I would have been unable to continue to base camp, again my fellow trekkers would have been at risk as a guide would have had to stay with me, worse still take me down, worse still I may have had to have been taken off the mountain quickly. The end of my amazing journey!

So, can you see how if we are not careful we can allow struggle to turn into suffering?

I see this so often in everyday lives, we don’t even realise we are doing it.  Take our Slim Forever workshop as an example.  How many people on that day could relate to my example of people spending their lives physically beating themselves up, by that I mean exercising too hard and too often until they are completely burnt out, the joy of exercising for their health and well being gone. Diets that are so restrictive that people feel constantly deprived and miserable, talking to themselves in such a way that if you spoke to a friend like that, they wouldn’t be your friend for long! We’ve all said it to ourselves, how fat we look, how horrible and disgusting we look as we grab a little fat around our tummies and tut with disgust.

It’s important to be aware that this isn’t struggle, this is suffering, the joy from that journey is gone and it leaves you in a far worse position than when you started.

The Everest example is easy to relate to and we can all see the serious consequences if I hadn’t listened and allowed my struggle to go into suffering,…..yet we do this all the time but simply don’t recognise it.

Suffering is not where you want to be, don’t let yourself go there!
How do you do that? By noticing how you FEEL.  If the Joy has gone, if it feels heavy, hard, bad, then stop – it really is not worth the damage it does.

Find the Joy in your life, after all life is meant to be FUN 🙂