Last Friday, I hopped on the train to London (yes, right platform this time!), squished myself on the tube and found my way to The Shard to attend a one day course.
I love learning new things, exploring, growing, changing, but what could be better than learning in a fabulous environment? Imagine the effect that has on your Mindset? Which is exactly why they held it there.
12 of us in a wonderful room on the 35th (!!) floor, windows floor to ceiling, a clear, bright day so the view of London was breathtaking – what a perfect environment to work on Change, Growth, Expansion, Mindset – suffice to say the course delivered and I left in a state of Flow.
For me, Flow is when I’m very creative, lots of clarity about where I’m heading, no fear about the How, just the focus on Why I’m going that way. It feels exciting but with a sense of knowing, with a sense of trust that everything is happening just the way it should – going with the Flow.
Now, the purpose of this pondering isn’t just to let you know about an enlightening course in an inspirational place, but the bigger question it raised in my mind on the way home: that is “Who am I?”
I’m sure it’s a question we all ask ourselves, and most of us will define ourselves by what we do – Mother, Doctor, Teacher, Father, Partner, Lawyer, Business Owner, Sister, Journalist…the list is endless.
But, we go further than that, we also define ourselves by what we have: we see ourselves as being more successful if we have the big house, the car, the holidays, children in private education, the clothes, the jewellery and so the list goes on.
We find it very difficult not to Judge our worth on what we have and what we have achieved: that is our culture, that is how we have been brought up to think, that is what our parents have encouraged us to do and what their parents encouraged them to do, that is what we encourage our children to do – society pushes us down this route. We consequently have lots of deeply held beliefs around our self worth and how that is measured against what we have and what we do.
We do like to pretend otherwise, that this is really not true, but if we are being totally honest we know that this is what WE (our society) values. We pay footballers more than most, we pay ‘stars’ more than most, we pay ‘moneymen’ more than most and so it goes on. But it’s not just that we pay them more, we pay them an extraordinary amount more, we give them an extraordinary amount of adoration, we boost their self worth up to extraordinary levels, we believe that they are extraordinary people and that they are in some way different to us.
When we actually stop to think about it, that is really bizarre. It’s bizarre that we believe that someone else is more worthy, important, clever, talented, special, better, and therefore different from us, and even more bizarrely, we are judging that on what they do and what they have.
I don’t know about you, but that just doesn’t feel right, it really is not a belief that is true for me.
So, when I ponder on the question of ‘Who am I?’ it’s no wonder that I naturally want to start to define that by what I do and what I have. It’s also no wonder that our self worth can be in tatters – how can we ever feel we measure up if that is what we are measuring ourselves by?
You might now be wondering how I answered the question ‘Who am I?’…. Well………. I am lots of things, as you are: I am honesty, I am love, I am openness, I am vulnerability, I am wisdom, I am growth, again the list goes on, but my really important ones of who I AM are Integrity, Kindness and Happiness, and I use that knowledge to help guide me, keep me on track, help me solve issues and have self worth.
When I walked into The Shard that day, I felt truly at home, there would be no reason for me to think that I was not worth being there, no reason for me to believe I am any less deserving of being there than the next person. I was in awe of the sheer magnitude of the building, the view, the height, I found it very uplifting BUT and it is a big but, I was not in awe of the fact that I was there, because I AM ME and that is more than enough.